Can anyone recommend what I should be looking for (i.e a small dildo) in my local sex shop to start opening up my tight ass getting ready for anal.

Would like to have a clue what I'm looking for before I go in and come out empty handed.

or if anyone has any links to products in online stores that would be great.

Thanks very much. Genuine post.

http://www.cocklocker.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2041
The likes of that would probably be a good idea to start with. You can also have a browse through their anal section and have a search for beginners / basic items. The reviews on there are pretty good as well so you can see what sort of results other users have had.

Go for pvc or silicone if you can as rubber ones tend to persish with time and use.

You've got ten things at the end of your arms that can help....8 of which are more useful than the other two ..You also need to learn to relax ..poppers might help ( but not with Viagra mixed in ) . There are loads of sex mailorder sites ..Love Honey being one that comes to mind . ..Google for others if you dont mind ordering online .

You want something like this:

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22285

Have you consulted with Yorkshire Guy yet?

Well, i've said it before and I'll say it again....Mother Nature has provided for all your anal stretching needs with her bounteous supply of root vegetables. Cheap AND nutritious! Although you can't beat a butt plug.

Ahh yes, the veg again. You start with a carrot and eventually you can make your own coleslaw.

I never grow tired of the vegetable talk. How about stringing a load of Birds Eye peas together?

Start with a Petit Pois then a Garden Pea,then a Marrowfat and progressing with various items of fruit or veg up to a Butternut Squash ( well maybe that last one is a step too far ) :-)

well I came away from the sex shop empty handed (and empty assed)

Wanted to sell me an expensive vibrator.

Didn't help that he thought I was straight. :

Will check out online.

The website I gave you is specificly gay male aimed but cheaper than a lot of them. A lot of sex shops overcharge justifying by saying they are a specialist retailer and try to get rid of whatever makes them the most. The online ones arrive in plain packets and all the lovehoney group sites linked to here have free postage.

I quite like the look of the glass ones. And don't forget to get some lube whilst you're at it!

They are good and look nice ..Instructions says u can put them in a dishwasher You can also warm them up in hot water or chill them in the freezer ..

I suppose it helps with a cold bed in the winter - just shove a warm dildo up your arse instead of taking a hot water bottle.

Oh you can just imagine that, can't you?

"It's a bit chilly in here, isn't it?"

"Here, pop this up you, you'll be warm in seconds."

Or you could put it in the freezer! It's bloody warm in my bedroom tonight. I need cooling down.

You'd probably die from the shock!

This is a good one, my ex's sister bought it for me as a "joke" present when we were still together. It made for a very funny and embarrassing present but a useful one too lol. http://www.annsummers.com/p/baby-blue-butt...07anatas1004014

Similar to one I've used in the past. Thankfully not a joke present, though.

Personally I wouldn't advise that. It was a little 'pointy' for my liking...

if a job's worth doing.. it's worth doing properly.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11303

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2481
How about triple the fun?

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!


Why would anyone?!



My arse has clenched itself shut just at the thought.

You would get it in but would you get it out???

It's just so weird.

Why would you even want to try that?

Even if you had some insane desire to know what it felt like for Sooty to have hand up his arse for all those years it's still not right!

I'll never be able to walk past the mannequins in Marks and Spencer ever again!

Well I got some durex lube yesterday and selected a nice looking carrot.

I guess I'll have a play sometime and then order something online.

Yeah I should of talked your yorkshire guy my guarden angel first lol. Soz.

I put one of them in my basket.

and one of these:
http://www.cocklocker.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16948


What's a good douche to get?
http://www.cocklocker.co.uk/anal-sex-toys/anal-douches/

Anything else while I'm ordering?

May as well have some KY

That looks a bit painful.

why's that then ?

[redacted]

KY ???... surely nobody uses that except docs doing ultrasound scans .

It's as good as anything else isnt it? Just cause it doesnt have a piccie of a guy's fist on the packaging it's still effective..

No.It certainly isn't :-) Things have moved on

...okay....a little more information........?

Well..There is PJUR,Pasante TLC and Light Lube ,Gun Oil,Spunk Lube, Liquid Silk Extremeo ( slightly anaesthetic )and that is probably only some lubes .

Lubes for using with toys are usually designed so they won't damage or degrade the toy with long term use lubes for using with a cock are often designed for 2 way comfort or sensation.

Funniest. Thread. Ever.