*waves*

I've been single a while now (well since November) and met this other guy in December, spent the night at his but for whatever reason we didn't contact eachother til we met again at Easter, which wasn't even planned, we bumped into eachother on a uni night out (we do the same course but he's 4th year I'm 1st) and again got along well, but this difference this time was he gave me his number.
Since then, we've texted like over 500 times, and (again) got along really well including some extreme flirting, BUT we haven't met up since which is annoying. Part of me understands cos we've both just had exams, and he's just graduated, so understandably been a bit busy, but there have been loads of times where he could've met me and he's said things like "oh i could've seen you" or "why weren't you out last night" which fucks me off, and I've made it pretty obvious that if he did invite me, I'd come. I invited him to meet up the day after the Easter night out, which didn't happen, then asked him if he was out at all after we'd both just finished exams, but he said he was busy (he does work a lot, but I can take that).
At the moment I know all this sounds like it's pretty dead, but what I don't get is that he's always the one that texts me first and asks how I'm doing, when there's no need to really if he's not interested. I drunk called him one night and I 100% remember he said he wouldn't be texting me if he didn't like me, and that he's had no one else since me.
I'm just wondering how much more patient I can be. Normally I would think that if something was gonna happen, it would've done by now, and I think after so long most people would give up, but despite only seeing him twice, there's something there, like I can look at guys hotter than him but not be as attracted.
If he didn't always text me I probably would give up hope, but I just seem to have been at the same stage for ages now... wait for him, try not to push him. Is that really all I can do? I want to be more blunt and ask something like Am I wasting my time liking you, but I wouldn't want to seem like I'm rushing or being needy.

It's time to push him.
Tell him you'd like to see him again and ask when he's free. Then make yourself available (assuming that he tells you when he's free). If you push the issue about meeting up you'll know soon enough if a meet will happen (he's allowed ONE excuse, two and you can forget him). And don't ask about whether you're wasting your time liking him.

Some guys just aren't very good at this sort of thing - if he's never done the chasing then he may not know what to do! I know that sounds odd but he may well be waiting for you to do the work. So as Parsy says its time to push him but be prepared to walk away if it's not going to happen.

Yeah make him aware you want to definitely meet and try to really push for it. At the moment it all sounds a bit half hearted and it's not getting you anywhere. If not don't lose sleep over him and move on, he ain't worth it.

Lol, I've just met a guy which went well, he asked if we could do it again sometime to which I said I'd like to. He then asked again that we should... so I suggest he comes over this Saturday and we do something... I haven't had a reply since. SMH. Don't let that put you off though. A lot of gay guys are just plain weirdos.

Personally? I'd forget it. From what I remember of you you're quite young? Why waste your time over months and months? If something was going to happen surely it would have happened by now?



Never a truer word spoken. Some guys (especially the younger ones) just don't have the ability/temerity to just be honest.

On a brighter note, why don't you just be upfront with him? Text him or call him and just say "wtf is going on here, is anything going to happen or not?". It's not an unreasonable thing to do.

I had an experience similar to yours recently (although I didn't allow it to go on for months) and I did exactly that. Lo and behold he's said he really likes me, had certain insecurity issues but now everything (for now) is going well. I'm not expecting a Royal Wedding, but at least I know where I stand now. I want to be with him and he wants to be with me, but it took me to call him out to get to this point.

Good luck fella .

Mmm. Do you know where he lives? Why not knock on his door, unannounced and say you were just passing and thought you just stop by to say hello? See how he reacts, see what happens. Texting 500 times is all very well but it never takes the place of actual contact.

If someone randomly turned up on my door unannounced I'd call the fucking police.

No, that is a BAD idea.......I don't even like my friends doing that, let alone someone i've not met yet.

Well he lives in student halls atm so I'd have to get through 4 doors!

He certainly doesn't lack in confidence, for example his Facebook 'about me' is simply "I am brilliant" that's one of the things I like about him, my ex was a miserable fucker.



See if that was me receiving a text like that I'd probably not even reply and think he was just being rude, almost like it's an ultimatum.
I kind of have a plan in my head. He already has a job in Manchester so is currently looking for a place to live there, so atm I can understand why looking for a relationship isn't the top priority (yes I am a bit of a push over), once he has done I'll ask him, it won't be long before he moves and I literally have nothing planned for July, so I kinda see that as 'make or break' month.

And believe me I know how weird a lot of guys are, I've signed up for 3 dating sites in the past and gone off all of them in like 5 minutes. I know of a few gay guys reasonably local to me but they just want sex, zzz. So this is why I've kinda been 'targeting' this guy, we've talked more than anything else, and get along really well.

Seems you've got it sussed but I agree I'll probably just fizzle out if he goes to Manchester and neither of you have pushed it.

There's no harm in trying arranging to meet up if possible and if he's really difficult about it then you might well have your answer.

However you approach it best of luck anyway!

Totally baffled and a bit creeped out by him tonight. Finally got an invite out of him, at which point I was running around singing HAAALLELUJAH, then he starts asking me what I've got in mind, I say nothing really, see how it goes, he says that sounds a bit boring, I say I don't have some kind of precise plan in my head, he seems to accept that but then 10 minutes later says "Your plan is to stay fully clothed though right?"

What. The. Fuck.

It's like he wants a plan of everything that'll happen so he can schedule it, asking that just seems so inappropriate to me, I know before a date some people might think to themselves that they might invite them back to there's afterwards for example, but who the fuck actually tells them that before it happens?! no idea what to reply but I'm slightly less keen now

That is weird. I'm not one with experience but I wouldn't tell someone if I was going to invite them back/have sex with them, prior to the date, just wait and see what happens naturally.

Not entirely sure whether he's implying he wants to do stuff with you after the date or not by what he wrote, but regardless it shouldn't be important. The date shouldn't be about any of that stuff, but getting to know each other better etc.

If his intentions is just getting you into bed afterwards then it's up to you to decide whether that's the sort of thing you want with him or not.

Text back asking what sort of thing(s) he had in mind and see what he says. If what he wants out of it is not what you want then you can decide what you want to do.

I'm poo with advice. That's the best I've got.

Sounds tongue-in-cheek to me.

Sounds to me as if you should avoid him. Joke or not, it's not really appropriate so early on.

At this point you can feel free to play his game of words for the fun of it with nothing to lose. Wind him up if you like.

Throw the ball back into his court.


"It can go either way. What would you prefer?"

Haven't the days gone where people went out on dates, gave a quick peck at the Tube and then went separate ways?

The curse of the mobile phone...