So i broke up with my boyfriend last september after 7 months together. I'm still happy with the decison as for me the relationship had become a friendship and at the end of the relationship i actually slept with someone else. I know bad and i never thought i would do something like that but a hot guy came onto me in a club and i was drunk (i've never told the ex this).
I had a couple of months of 'why did you dump me crap' which i explained, then i started looking for someone else. Built up a rapore with a guy and was about to go on a date when it turns out he'd been chatting to my ex too and he decided as he had started chatting to my ex first he would give that ago. Not a problem but the ego did take a knock.
Anyways they have been dating for about 5 months now and this other guy lives on my road and i keep bumping into them every now and again or see my exes car and its just annoying.
I'm still friends with the ex we meet up every now and again for various stuff but he just annoys me as a person now but about a month ago i got a text from his saying his new BF had mentioned me a couple of times out of the blue wich i found quite weird. I asked what did he say but got no reply. All very weird.
The good news is that i'm moving soon so wont have to see them together and my life is busy with various stuff so I wouldn't be able to start any sort of relationship.
So not sure what my point is. Maybe i'm just annoyed that he got to another guy before me and now i feel like its being rubbed in my face. Mayeb its karma for sleeping with someone else? Who knows.
One thing i'm sure of is that i'm happy by myself and except for the odd sex every now and again don't think i want to be with anyone.
May 27 2012, 23:18
May 28 2012, 01:37
Even though things fizzled out between you and him towards the end, it can't be easy knowing that someone you once had feelings for is in a new relationship. Suppose the transition from bf to friendship must be awkward. The text was probably just his way of trying to provoke a reaction out of you. He clealy wanted you to care about what his bf had told him about you. However it obviously wasn't much seeing as he failed to respond. He must still harbor feelings for you, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered trying to stir things. It could re-boost your ego to think the only reason he's dating this guy is because he knew you were interested in the guy too.
Everyone needs a clean sheet when they break up with someone, you don't need the constant reminder of your ex and trying to remain friends with him is not doing you any favours. Unless he starts acting more mature. Understandably after the spark went out in your last relationship, your obviously hesitant to look for anything serious. No matter how pre-occupied or busy you are, don't rule out the chance of meeting someone new. You might indeed be happy with the odd sex and being single. But I think eventually you'll want something more serious. Hope the move goes well for you. As for karma, I don't think it's come back to bite you on the arse. You only slept with someone else cause your relationship was dead. If anything this new guy has kept your ex occupied, otherwise he might have still been trying to get back with you.
If something came along I think I would be interested, i just don't think, right now, that I will go out of my way to look for someone. I spent 12 months doing that off and on before meeting my ex and it's tiresome and sometimes depressing.
Maybe when other aspects of my life calm down a bit i'll change my mind.
When we did break up I said to him that i'd like to be friends evetually but i'd leave that down to him. We probably broke contact for maybe 5 weeks, and didn't see each other for maybe 2 months. He said he was ready and i believed him. Maybe at the time I was being naiive. One good thing was he told me he;d slept with one of his friends post break-up and I just had no reaction at all. I knew therefore i'd made the right decision.
This was my first proper relationship so the whole thing was a learning curve for me.
May 29 2012, 02:06
When you were an item, he must have felt comfortable telling you everything. So after the break-up, it was probably the norm for him to continue being upfront about stuff. His feelings would have still been raw at the time so maybe he was hoping you'd react to him sleeping with his mate. Did you allow yourself to feel anything or was your numb response due to you being a tad guilty about your own drunken encounter. Even though you ended things, you must still care for him, which is why he's still able to get under your skin. Atleast you went with your gut instinct at the time. Perhaps your friendship will get back on track over the coming months.
Love is over rated and comes with great expectations. The way you feel for someone at the start of a relationship is bound to change the more you get to know them. Things get comfortable and every day life takes it's toll. I think most couples end up becoming like friends, living with someone they no longer have sex with and putting up with eachothers annoying habits. For some ppl companionship is enough, it sounds like your bf was happy plodding along. But it seems your still looking for that special something.
Suppose it's hard to keep things fresh. The same way ppl fall in love with a song and then playing it on repeat until it doesn't sound as good as when you first heard it or watching a tv show and becoming bored with it, because it seems less interesting than it did when you first tuned in. Some ppl would stick with it for nostalgic reasons. Maybe your the kinda person who wants to keep things raw. It's great that you can go to a club and meet a hot guy. Atleast it's likely that the opportunity will present itself again. Your still young so plenty of time to meet Mr. Right.
I think things were going in very different directions for the both of us. He told me he loved me about 3 weeks before I ended it. I actually cired a little when he told me as I was ashamed of myself for 'leading him on'. For me it wasn't going anywhere.
I'd say my response was just i didn't actually care because he was a friend so i didn't feel jealous at all.
I think he just wasn;t the guy for me and my feelings never developed like I thought they would.
With meeting that guy, that was random. he was a friend of the people I was out with so we eneded up chatting all night, making out then i went back to his. I've never done that before or since.May be as I was 'in a relationship' i was more easy going as i wasn't looking for anything. Who knows?
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