So the title says it all really. My life has turned pretty dull. I don't really see my mates much anymore, they're all busy with their birds or other stuff. I don't often go out anymore and haven't done since before christmas. Things have just gone down hill. It's majorly depressing me and I'm not entirely sure what I want to do about it or how to change things.

Anyone else had the same experience? What did you do to put some spice in your life?

It's really getting to me at the minute. I struggle with depression generally anyway, but tend to manage to bring myself out of it, but this is proving a little too hard to handle.

Any ideas anyone?

you need to stop focusing on yourself. do new things outside your comfort zone, volunteer for something, bake a cake for the old biddy down the road, get to know new people, make an effort to smile and be approachable. if people dont like you then by definition its their loss and move on the next - theres 7 billion+ people out there. the worst thing you can do is mope around feeling sorry for yourself. and persevere.

Go travelling.

True dat. Off to Berlin in June and New York in October. All booked while drunk after feeling sorry for myself

You have internet access, how can you ever be bored?!

I don't think I'm ever bored. Even when I'm just lying around the house in my underwear, eating cereal from the box, watching kids t.v shows.

Anyway, this will probably sound really condescending, but why don't you throw yourself into a new hobby. Plus, there are literally bajillions of amazing books/films/albums out there to be discovered. You really have no excuse for boredom!

Don't know if you've been to either before but both are amazing cities! You should have fun!


Some good advice from the others. I've been there at times too and found that I just have to force myself to do new things and/or force my existing friends into nights out. Often it's not that they don't want to, it's just that they are busy and need time to plan a night out (especially if they have kids) so agreeing a night a couple of months in advance usually works out.

Other things I've done have been night classes. I did German last year to brush up on my skills. I'm thinking about taking up photography as a hobby so may do a class to help me with that.

Hope this helps!

Just pick up the phone tell your mates you're bored and you need a night out. Remind them what a laugh you are.

There's more than the friends you grew up with in the world. Just try and make new ones. Its gotta be easier meeting new people this day n age then ever with the net n stuff. And I'm not just talking about for sex. Its 15 yrs since I left school now n only really see a couple of the mates I had then but still have plenty of people I class as mates n see all the time. Even when I've been working away, I've been in the pub n got to know locals n that. You've just gotta work at it, n put yourself about (not literally). Even if your shy, its the only way your gonna get out n about.

I get you bruva.

One by one my best friends are spreading out around the globe away from me. There will come a day when I will be forced to making a new circle! But it isn't easy as everyone says to just 'go and make friends'. I'm slowly getting there though, in preparation for snowballing loneliness. I have joined a gay football team and... well thats honestly where my hobbies end.

I guess I shall have to start being nicer on here. Perhaps visit the 'what makes you happier thread' and do something in there. Throw yourself out of a plane or whatever. (I should say avec parachute)

Finding a new hobby is an excellent suggestion, as others have said.

How about vounteer work? Keeps you busy, you meet new people-- helping others is always a good way of geeing yourself up

I can appreciate it's difficult to get out that rut when you're depressed, it's a vicious cycle. I've had a couple of episodes of depression (of the chemical imbalance variety), I find three things are helpful for it:

1) Exercise: Even a 30-minute brisk walk will lift your mood, gets the endorphins going and burns off anixety-inducing adrenanline. Healthy mind in a healthy body! Plus it gets you out the house

2) Sleep: Can be tricky if you're not feeling 100%; but aim for eight hours a night (no napping during the day), it can make all the difference for me.

3) Perception: No matter how bad things got, I always tried to see something positive in the day. Even if it was just a nice sun-set, being grateful for what I had or taking Dawson-esque humour from my perceived misfotunes-- or maybe just pulling a silly face at myself in the mirror

Either you can depressed that life is tough and then you die; or you make as much fun out of it as you can, and appreciate what reletaively little time you have on the planet

Finally, you're one of my favourite people on here Ingleberry. You come across as a warm, thoughtful and good-natured. If I can sense that through t'internet, I'm sure the good folk as Chez Vegas will too

I'm only 35 miles away, if ever wanted to meet up. [Hears Ingleberry whispering to himself: "I'm not that desperate!" ]

I know exactly how you feel Ingleberry, and it must be a consolation for you to see that many people have felt the same as well as you can see from the responses.

It is a viscous cycle and hard to pull yourself out of, so I can understand where you're coming from there.

The responses here have been good though and worth making a note of. Throwing yourself into a hobby sounds good.

Since September, one by one my friends as well have been leaving. Four of them have gone over to Australia and one has moved 150 miles south down to Somerset. It's really difficult. All of my friends are scattered across the globe now and I have to travel to see them. Joining new groups sounds good and I've been trying to do that here, but Stoke-on-Trent is not proving the most sociable of places.

Roger's advice sounds brilliant as well, I'm making a note of that.

Don't let it get to you though - it's good that you've posted on here to get some advice so you're being pro-active. I feel I'm on a slippery slope too and I'm getting worse, so if you need to chat about anything drop me a PM and we can feel sorry for eachother and make suggestions to help eachother out

I hear you Ingleberry.

Life is shite.

I can empathise.

In general i'm finding life quite dull at the moment. I'm in a job which i find boring and not very stimulating, i'm applying for new jobs but not even getting interviews which is frustrating.

To try and combat this though I decided to start French lessons again to get my brain working again. Plus i'm doing an NVQ in work just to try and get something out of my job. (sounds silly for someone with a masters degree though)

It doesn't help that my 'best friends' all live at least 2 hours away on the train and sometimes 6 hours or more so i don;t feel like ive made roots in cardiff even though ive been here for 2 years now.

The only thing you've got to think is you're not the only one feeling like this.

Thanks to everyone for the replies. Appreciate people taking the time. And it's surprising to see many people have the same experiences.

It's difficult because on the surface I don't have a bad life, I keep myself busy and do the odd thing but it's when I think about it, the last 3 weeks have seen me sat in the house doing nothing. My best mate has gone into town and hasn't mentioned once "fancy coming along?". I think that was what made me feel rubbish.

I love the evening class idea, definitely worth looking into. And the new hobbie thing.

And Roger Mellie, I really appreciate that

Cheers everyone

You're most welcome, and I mean it. If you radiate warmth you do on here, to people in 'real life', then people will warm to you in return. I certain that when you get out there, you won't feel lonely for long

Especially when he mentions he's got a big 10" cock.

Feel free to say hello when you're here if you like.
Plenty of hotties here for you to meet though if you fancy a holiday bf.

Do you know something we don't?

AWKWEEERRRDD

Thanks to everyone who replied. I've just had a weekend away with a few friends, a little bit last minute, and have had myself chance to think and stuff. Really appreciate people offering advice and summer boyfriends.

Thanks to all queers involved x