Actually Jumbler, I do know you live over in Lincolnshire-- Market Deeping-- is that (still) correct? So I have remembered things about you, and I haven't forgotten a lot (well, whatever that "a lot" is) about you. I fell it's the case that you're making inferences from what I've put....
For instance, where have I said you live in Leicester? The only reason I mentioned the city, is that you remarked:
"Plus London's a bit far to go for one night's whoring. Could get that in Leicester". Thence my remark about about getting action in Leicester. Do you not go out socialising in Leicester after work, for instance?
Also where did I say you are "always" bad-tempered? I suggested that you be a little "less
", given your habitual use of that emoticon hereabouts in some of shriller posts; doesn't mean to say I think you are like that all the time. Granted I can only go on what you've put on this site, given we haven't met: Whilst I find you are prone to being
and even morbid here; you may well be placid and even good-humoured offline.
I admire your honesty, in that you realise you need to work on yourself-- that's more than many manage. You also say that are unhappy with a lot of things, but not sure "what". To my mind that's the key to your unhappiness-- that "what" is present in what have written in your latest post! I believe it's the same answer as it's always been, whenever we've discussed this here or via email.
It's that you relying on
external things to make you happy. For instance here, you are talking about "job/money/travelling/feeling dissatisfied, it wears me down, makes me more cynical, and melancholic". None of these things actually make you feel miserable, or can make you feel misreable; it's entirely your perception and interpretation of these things that is. In other words, you are cynical, melancholic and dissatisfied-- because you *choose* to be-- it's your saturnine attitude at play.
Circumstances don't make you-- they just reveal who are. If those circs are unfavourable to you, you have two choices. Firstly you can change those circs; rather than grumbling about your job, money, why not doing something to change them? Bristling about circs doesn't change them, being pro-active does.
In the meantime, there's the second option: I think there is very little in life (maybe even nothing) that doesn't have a plus side to it, if you *choose* to seek it. For instance my job is pressured, demanding and often futile, and it could quite easily reap my soul; but I appreciate that my colleagues are lovely bunch of people and make it worthwhile. What are your colleagues like Jumbler?
Also I'm not overly embued with money myself; I could let it get me down, but I'm mindful for all the things I can do that cost little or nothing, which I enjoy. For example if you like reading Jumbler, a trip to the library costs nothing. Travelling (to work)? The A47 through Leicestershire and Rutland is stunning-- more pleasurable than some commutes I can imagine. Even if you can't appreciate that beauty: Does your car not have a CD player or radio-- favourite songs or DJ makes a drive more enjoyable. Or you could vary your route home, to relive tedium.
As for "feeling dissatisfied"-- easily remedied-- don't have expectations. I find that people who get disillusioned, bitter and dissatisfied in life, it's because they have all these expectations of life, then get disappointed when they aren't met. Happiness is wanting what you get, not getting what you want. I find the happiest people in life, are those who accept that matters beyond their control are just that; and accept those matters in life, as they are. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade {i}. Paradoxically, once you get to grips with idea that
life is tough, then you die, then you become happier
You state say if have (more) real friends, you would be more likely to gain your positive side. Again you are relying on a external source for happiness, "real friends". Other people may help lift your spirits, but they cannot make you feel happy. Princess Diana had many friends, but imfamously often spoke of her deep loneliness; yet there are people who are 'loners', and are perfectly happy with their lives.
Oddly enough, if you take a positive outlook on life and on others, then you will find those real friends more forthcoming (who wants to hang round with somebody miserable and who judges them?). You are right in that pills and remedies don't solve anything; all they can do is change your brain-chemistry, to help you see 'light at the end of the tunnel' {ii} Whether take that to be a route to escape or oncoming train, is entirely your choice thence.
Finally on this theme, you invite me to "work out whether you think I can be saved or not". Interesting use of the passive there-- who or what do you expect to save you? The only person who can save you from your despondency, is... welll... you.
You only be positive if you think positive, is a self-fulfilling prophesy: You can either chose to miserable with your lot; or you can change your lot. You either choose to be miserable about life; or you can choose to count your blessings and appreciate what good there is in life. Our time on this planet is precious little, why spend it being deliberate morose?
QUOTE
I'm serious. I don't bite, and I'm much more outgoing than I am on here... we could even have a great time.
Nice to hear you are more outgoing than on here. Joshing aside; beneath all your logically-fallacious and judgemental diatribes, I think there's a decent person there.
At the risk of sounding like an ersatz Oprah, I try to see the best in people; which is why I have a remarkably broad cross-sections of friends; from bus-drivers to barristers; from asexuals, bisexuals, to try-anything-sexuals. But be warned, I have little time for those who delight in being spiteful, irrational, resentful or humourless.
Yes I am happy to meet up with you sometime, yes we may even have a good time. I have met a couple of people on here; one of which (Mike R) found me to be very enjoyable company and even said I was sexy (ye gods
). You say you don't bite? I'll take your word for it, but please let your face on your Fbk photos know that
Anyway, we've gone way off-piste here. Duckie, Royal Vauxhall Tavern, as you were gents
=======
{i} Or tequilla, depending on your beverage choice
{ii} Alternatives to anti-deps are:
30 mins exercise a day
Good night's sleep (~8 hours)
Sexual activity (even autoeroticism)
Laughing/smiling as much as you can
... all which release endorphins, the body's own anti-deps
This post has been edited by Roger Mellie: Nov 19 2012, 12:45
Duckie @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, What's it like to go alone?
Jul 14 2012, 12:13
You also seem to forget I only work in Leicester... 