I Married a Dormouse, Other half just sleeps all the time Options

[Musicwithrocksin]

Why don't you let him have an undisturbed nap when he comes home and then he'll be more alert through the evening?

Dozing on the sofa and being prodded awake periodically isn't going to get him any sort of decent rest and he'll just be groggy for the whole evening.

If he can go to bed for an hour or so when he comes in maybe he'll actually be fully concious during dinner and tv time afterwards?

Just a thought.

[stretchmonkey]

Why don't you let him have an undisturbed nap when he comes home and then he'll be more alert through the evening?

Dozing on the sofa and being prodded awake periodically isn't going to get him any sort of decent rest and he'll just be groggy for the whole evening.

If he can go to bed for an hour or so when he comes in maybe he'll actually be fully concious during dinner and tv time afterwards?

Just a thought.

It's when he gets in that he's still perky. He comes in ravenous too. It's only after he's sat down and i've forced huge amounts of food on him that he drops off. I think i'll just have to accept it really.

[AndyJ]

It's only after he's sat down and i've forced huge amounts of food on him that he drops off.

Try less food, smaller portions. Why is he so ravenous when he gets in? Everyone gets a bit sleepy after a big meal.

[jktjktjkt]

I take on your point about your physically demanding job being an exhausting one but bear in mind that your other half's (presumably) office-related and thus more mentally-orientated job can be just as exhausting but in a different way. I work in an office and there are certainly days where work has just been so hectic and stressful that by the time I get home (even if I don't go to the gym) that I just want to collapse in bed and sleep. You said yourself that his job is very stressful, so it's mental exhaustion which gets to him.

You've said that he's alert in the mornings and when he's just got back from work and that it's after dinner that he starts getting sleepy. That's probably because after he's eaten your lovely dinner, he then starts to relax and drifts off - there are plenty of people who I know get sleepy after eating, even if it's 2PM on a Saturday! Food just relaxes them.

As a possible solution, you could maybe try to slow down and size down on the eating - it takes a bit more effort, but try making it a simple 2 or 3 course meal, even if it's just heating up some tinned soup, making a (smaller) main yourself and buying a ready-made dessert. That spaces out the eating process and means you get to spend more time together chatting whilst eating.

Also, is he so hungry as soon as he gets home because of the gym or because he's not eating enough during the day? Maybe you could suggest he tries to have post-lunch/pre-gym snacks? Theoretically, this would mean he'd have more energy and thus less likely to fall asleep at 8:30.

[thespunkpup]

Same story with us, although despite the fact it's me working all day, the other half's medication's so strong he battles to keep awake during the evening when we have time together. The only thing I'm able to do is try and make the most of the hours at the weekend when I'm not working and he's hopefully a bit more with-it!

I feel for you, buddy!

[Chris]

Obviously if he's had a long day, been up early, been to the gym and then comes home to food and a sofa he's gonna fall asleep, anyone would.

Change the routine cos it's not working for you... tell him to not go to the gym after work and take him out to dinner, even if you're a boring couple, boring couples go to dinner too. Get a few drinks down him take him home and ravish him. You get some attention and you may have a chance over dinner without him asleep to tell him you should spend a bit more quality time together and change up the routines a bit.... he might feel it too but you havn't got round to discussing it with each other.

The other person who said get him to go for a nap when he gets in then get him up sounds like a good idea... I know quite a lot of people who need to have a nap after work so they can enjoy their evening. Worth a shot?!

I'd feel totally neglected in that situation too... don't let it continue

[Noah]

Yeah, I think the clue is in the fact that if there is something good on telly he can stay awake. I have the same problem, except it is me with the demanding day job and the dozy evenings.

What you are seeing (and don't take this the wrong way) is the soporific effect of cosy routine domesticity. You need to shake him up a bit - not every night - but 2 or 3 nights a week do something different: invite friends round for dinner, get tickets for the flicks, suggest a bracing walk in the night air, meet him from work, have a barbecue in the back garden for just the two of you, you could even try the striptease in sexy underwear LOL.